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Spirituality for the Skeptic




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ON LITERAL INTERPRETATION

HOW ABSURD WOULD THAT BE?

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Here is a perfect example showing the
absurdity of taking even the most archic
and outmoded partss of the Bible
literally.... 
 
In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger
said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew,
according to Leviticus18:22,
homosexuality is an abomination and
cannot be condoned under any
circumstance.
 
The following response is an open letter
to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident,
which was posted on the Internet:
  
 
Dear Dr. Laura:
  
Thank you for doing so much to educate
people regarding God's Law. I have learned
a great deal from your show, and try to
share that knowledge with as many people
as I can. When someone tries to defend
the homosexual lifestyle, for example,
I simply remind them thatLeviticus 18:22
clearly states it to be an abomination
... End ofdebate.
  
  
I do need some advice from you, however,
regarding some other elementsof God's
Laws and how to follow them.
  
  
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may
possess slaves, both male and female,
provided they are purchased from
neighboring nations. A friend of mine
claims that this applies to Mexicans,
but not Canadians. Canyou clarify?
Why can't I own Canadians?
  
2, I would like to sell my daughter into
slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In
this day and age, what do you think would
be a fairprice for her?
  
3. I know that I am allowed no contact
with a woman while she is inher period of
Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24.
The problem ishow do I tell? I have tried
asking, but most women take offense.
  
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a
sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing
odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem
is my neighbors.They claim the odor is
not pleasing to them. Should I smite
them?
 
5. I have a neighbor who insists on
working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly
states he should be put to death. Am I
morally obligatedto kill him myself, or
should I ask the police to do it?
  
6.A friend of mine feels that even though
eating shellfish is anabomination, Lev.
11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you
settle this? Are there 'degrees'of
abomination?
  
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not
approach the altar of God if I have a
defect in my sight. Does my vision have
to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room
here?
 
8. Most of my male friends get their
hair trimmed, including the hair around
their temples, even though this is
expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How
should they die?
  
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that
touching the skin of a dead pig makes
me unclean, but may I still play
football if I wear gloves?
  
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates
Lev.19:19 by anting two different crops
in the same field, as does his wife by
wearing garments made of two different
kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).
He also tends to curse and blaspheme a
lot. Is it really necessary that we go
to all the trouble of getting the whole
town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a
private family affair, like we do with
pople who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.
20:14)

 I know you have studied these things
extensively and thus enjoy considerable
expertise in such matters, so I'm
confident you can help.
 
Thank you again for reminding us that
God's word is eternal and unchanging.
  
Your adoring fan,
  
James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor
Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum,
Instruction, and Special Education
University of Virginia
  
(It would be a damn shame if we couldn't
own a Canadian)